My Blog

      I haven’t been updating this blog for quite some time. Man, I didn’t know what I wrote can actually spark so much controversy! I even have hate mail. Haha. I really don’t know what else to write here, because each time an idea comes to me, I don’t know how everyone who reads it will respond. I didn’t know how much controversy can actually come out of an entry, that simply stemmed out of frustration at the very moment. Trust me, I don’t worry about the world all the time. It’s just that out of a stir of the moment, my mind begins to take me to places, one thought leads to another, and a great big idea is born. Most of the time, the idea ends up in ‘SAVE THE WORLD!!’ (=_="…*sweats*) Might be too much for some to handle. Sorry people, I’m just being me.

     One thing to clarify though, I’m not suggesting that being a Christian means I’m "holier than thou". I’m not better than any of you out there. I don’t smell better, act better, or live without any cares in the world, just because I’m a Christian. The difference is that I look to someone greater and bigger than I am, Jesus, and believe that He’s God. And when I believe in God, I give my problems, worries and even future plans to Him. When I am in trouble, the problem is still there, I encounter the very same worries you have. But I have God to look to, and have hope. I have found hope because I have God. That’s it! That’s the difference, put in very simple terms.

      One more thing I believe is that all of us are special. Each of us are born with different talents and gifts. For example, I can study very well, but I’m crap at drawing. Someone else has the talent in drawing and painting, but perhaps cannot do as excellent in his/her studies. Now here’s the flaw. The system of, not to say the world, but maybe in Malaysia’s education system, is that people who do well in their studies are looked upon very highly. They are the ones who get scholarships, teachers and parents’ favour, and even the society. But what about the person who can paint well? It’s a talent too! An amazing talent, in fact. If you’ve travelled to Europe, you would’ve seen the sculptures, paintings, frescos that grace the buildings. So my point is, we are all of much value. Even if the people or society we live in doesn’t appreciate what we can do, we’re still very valueble. Just imagine, if all humans are made to be intellectual, what a boring world this is going to be! There will be technology, but no art, no entertainment, no music. We’ll have a television but no programmes to watch. The conclusion is, we’re all special in our very own way. Never look down on yourself just because you don’t have a talent your friend has. Don’t ever undervalue yourself because you’re worth so so much. The world will never be the same without you being in it. I like to see it as this, we’re all like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. All of us are different in shapes and sizes. Some are bigger, some are smaller, some form the corners, some in the middle. But in the end, if any piece of the puzzle goes missing, the whole picture will not be complete.

  *disclaimer-the examples used are only EXAMPLES! I’m not suggesting that one talent is better than the other.*

     So that’s about it this time! Interesting how I started off without anything to write for this entry. Keke. So, think think, anymore disclaimers to add? Not for now. Oh, I forgot that I actually disallowed all comments for my last post. Will change it back.

Hi everyone, I haven’t updated my blog in ages. Having a sudden inspiration to write on the topic above, I decided to blog again!

Exams are over. The extra time has driven me to read about anything and everything, including UK politics. Having lived in my own bubble for 18 months, not knowing anything about UK politics and the parliment, I decided to change that today! Since I’ve read up a bit, I’ve decided to educate everyone who’s reading my blog as well! For those of you who know more than I do, feel free to comment.

I found out that the strong parties in this country include the Labour party, the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrat. The current Prime Minister is from the Labour Party, and with his stepping down on the 27th June, his co-founder of New Labour, Gordon Brown will take over as PM - uncontested. So nice to win without competition hor.

Anyway, I think UK politics is soooooo different from Malaysia’s. I’m sure many of you living in the UK for some time will realise that. The thing is, the Brits are not afraid of the government. They seriously know their rights. And the politicians are expected to be the voice of the public. If the government comes up with some stupid law or even an idea, the people will shoot it down. In Malaysia, people do shoot the politicians down if they come up with a stupid idea. But many times, a stupid idea whom many politicians support in the parliment (just for the sake of not offending the people or person in power, for their own benefit) will be implemented, despite the outcry of the people! That kinda sucks (Forgive my language). And one thing Malaysians never or hardly do is to go on strike. I’m not saying that going on strike is good or what. But I see it as a means of being persistant. There are many other ways of being persistant. We, many times, just give up if something is not done our way. As a result, the country does not progress as fast as we dream it would be.

One more issue I have been thinking of is implementation. I think it’s pathetic. No matter how many rules we create or the laws we make, no implementation equals no rules. Many times, when a certain law is newly made, you will hear about the ‘tough’ implementation of that law. For example, I was reading on thestar.com about a few dozen illegal vcd dvd sellers aka ‘pirates’ being fined RM1billion. When I read it, I was like …. What about the whole row of pirates in Batu Ferringi or SS2? You want to fine a few people you caught a few billion ringgit. They can afford meh? Publicising it on the mass media will scare the other sellers meh? NO IT WON’T!! I would suggest the law enforcers to be more diligent in their jobs, catch all the ‘evil doers’ according to the law, instead of having media conferences talking about how they’ll fine people 1 billion ringgit.

Though I don’t like the way things are done in Malaysia, I don’t want to sit back and just be a backbench critisizer (if there’s such a word). I really hope I can do something, at least contribute some ideas to make my country a better one. Though the thought of the country’s mess (bribes for one) pisses me off, I still love Malaysia. It’s where I grew up in! Being in UK for 18 months open my eyes to a lot of things. The experience shows me that Malaysians can do the same (though we’re a looooong way to go). We just need to change our mindsets, from being a backbench critisizer to someone who sees something wrong in the system, and pushes to change it.

So, before I end, anyone got any ideas on how I can get involved even now? I keep saying that I want to create change, but I actually have no idea how to, as to now - in uni, age 22, how?? From now til the time I can actually get involved in a political party, it’s at least 3 more years before I go back to Msia. So please drop me a line if you know how. Thanks!

I received a very interesting comment from a long lost friend, Zee Kin and thought it’ll be interesting to explain the things I have written in the post "what’s happening to the world today".

Point to note though, I’m not very good at debating. Heeh.

Homosexuality and Christianity

I said that ‘gay marriages are made legal’, which I think should not be done. The issue is not that I hate homosexuals, I don’t. It’s just the act of homosexuality itself that I cannot agree. It is based on my firm belief in what the bible says. There are certain situations, where your friend does something you think he/she shouldn’t do, because it is in your opinion, wrong. I don’t care whether a third party agrees to my opinion or not, because I care for my friend, I will tell him/her what I think and the rest will be up to the person to decide.

Zee Kin, I’m surprised that with the amount you have research about the bible that you said it does not explicitly say anything against homosexuality.

I’ll quote some versus here then. Romans 1:24,27 "Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lust of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves… Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the women, burned in their lust for one another, men with men commiting what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due."

Another verse is found in I Corinthians 6:9 "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolators, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites…"

The issue about the word MORALITY

Ok, I might be wrong in using the word morality. I mean, who checks the dictionary to find out what’s the meaning of MORALITY before putting it in their blog? But I still hold firm to my opinion that the world is definitely not getting better anytime soon. If we don’t touch on morality, we can talk about the increasing crime rates all over the world, the global warming, the shocking amount of natural disasters happening in the last century etc. I think I choose to believe in what the bible says, that the end is coming soon. Because no matter how hard we humans try to take God out of the picture, we cannot find one logical explanation that explains everything that’s happening in the world.

The Bible and the Quran - a fair comparison?

Well, before the Muslims stone me, with all due respect, I’m not saying that the Quran is not accurate, no no no… Just want to point out Zee Kin’s comparison on the people who wrote these holy books.

Just a reminder from a simple-minded person like me, Christianity is a faith. It is not science, who needs people with degrees and PHDs to publish a paper. The bible says that every word in the bible is living, and God-breathed. It is the Holy Spirit that gives these writers of the bible the words to write. That’s where faith comes in again. You can either choose to believe that statement or not. For us who believe, it speaks to us in a very profound and personal way. That is the beauty of it. When you’re in trouble and upset, God speaks through the versus in the bible. You’re comforted and uplifted. That’s what faith does to you when you believe in the bible. If you don’t, you can fork out the greatest arguments in the world against it. That’s just it!

The APROSTLES…?

Just to make it clearer, the bible is written by the APOSTLES, not the APROSTLES. Heeh. They are Jesus’ followers when He was on earth. They walked and lived and served with Him. So a simple, logical thinking mind of mine says that if these guys lived with Jesus and went everywhere with Him, they should know His every detail of life on earth. So I think the gospels are pretty reliable.

SINFUL PEOPLE LIKE US

Erm, the bible is also accused of being written by SINFUL HUMANS, but the Quran is written by holy people. We SINFUL HUMANS as written in the bible, are given a way to be made holy through Jesus’ death on the cross. John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." When someone accepts Jesus to be his saviour, he is accounted as holy and his sins forgiven. So it is technically holy people writing the bible.

BIBLE TRANSLATIONS ?

Why does the bible have so many translations then? Why into so many languages? It’s for a simple reason that it can be as much understood as possible, so that people from every language and nation can come to know the contents in the Bible. It is not only a religion for the intellectuals, but for the not-so-educated ones. So there are translations of the bible in plain, simple english.

CONCLUSION

I am accused of being narrow-minded. *sweat*.

My opinions are formed by my faith in Jesus. And I have the freedom to believe in it. Dahlah I’m terrible at debating!

But I won’t condemn you for your beliefs either. It’s just that all in all, my experience as a Christian has made me believe that Jesus is real. I don’t only base my beliefs on what others say, but I have experienced God every day. God has made all the difference in my life. God gave a reason to keep on living. Can you imagine I use to think about suicide all the time? Not anymore! I want to live! Because Christ gave me a purpose for living. For all He has done for me, I will believe in His teachings, no matter how everyone else condemns me of being narrow-minded.

Zee Kin, sorry if I said anything that hurt your feelings. I don’t mean to. Heeh. By the way, stating that you did some research is not enough. Usually you need to quote where it comes from. (Just a point to note). Again, I don’t mean to offend you!

Til next time everyone. Byes!

After 21 and a half years of living my life, I realised one day that, hey, I can do a lot of things. I can sing, play the piano, dance, act, organise events, leading people, excel in my studies etc. I have many talents!! I’m sounding ‘perasan’ now, I know. But it takes a confident person to speak out what he/she is good at, ok? muahaha

Recently I was feeling quite disappointed because I find that I cannot do all these things at once. I mean, isn’t it frustrating if you are good at something, and you love doing it, but can’t find the time to do it? I even remembered someone saying with the talents you have, the more responsibility you have because you’re expected to use them. Yes now I remember, it’s the parable of the 10 talents in the bible. Anyway, I’m responsible for my talents!

Let me list how I’m using my time now. I love investing my time in the church - singing, playing the piano and teaching the bible there. And that takes up 70% of my free time. With the remaining 30% I wish I can start a band, be more involved in the Malaysian Society in my uni, learn Latin and Ballroom dancing, do some street dancing, be involved in the university choir… …  Wow, just so many things to do, yet not enough time! Why did God give me so many talents then, if I can’t mazimise them?! This is quite frustrating.

Just a sidetrack, my exams starts on Monday… Can’t wait for it to be over. I really thank God for the intellectual talents He has given me. One day I’ll blog about effective techniques of studying - just so I can help those out there who need some advice. =)

Anyway, as I was thinking of my limitations as a human being, a phrase on my church leaflet caught my attention. It was the senior pastor’s message. It says, "To do well at a few things you need to give up many things… Being willing to give up some of the things you love in order to focus on what has the greatest impact isn’t an easy lesson to learn." It is so true!

Then I thought to myself, what is my priority in life? Is it to have as much fun as I can in uni? Because I enjoy singing and dancing so much!

Or do I invest in my life right now, for a better future? My answer is pretty clear, I choose the latter. Even though I cannot do everything I would like to do now, I will not live to regret it.

My friend once told me this, "You should do whatever your heart feels like doing now. Because once you’re out of uni, you won’t get the chance to enjoy yourself like this anymore." My friend, I wish I could. But I have a vision and a goal to reach. I can’t live my life the way everyone lives. I just can’t.

That’s it for now. I shall go back to my studies. Anatomy here I come. Til the next time, bubbye!

LESSONS LEARNT FROM LORD OF THE RINGS

Today, I watched LOTR - the fellowship of the ring, again. It gave me lots to think about.

- Firstly, it spoke to me about what is happening to our world today. There was one part which was about mankind. Men without a leader, without hope, and the race is failing. I think this is true of the world we live in today. Don’t you think so? As the days of living in the UK go by, I’m exposed to more and more lawlessness in this world. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE WORD MORALITY? DOES THE WORLD STILL SEE THE BOUNDARIES OF RIGHT AND WRONG? Gay marriages are made legal; premarital sex is done by everyone, and you’re called weird if you’re still a virgin at 21; divorce is common; drinking and getting drunk is FUN; sleeping around and making out with friends are normal; the list goes on.

- Politicians of the 21st century are totally crap and useless. What they care about is that they can stay in their positions as long as possible. That they can take as much bribes as possible while up there, and pretending they’re working for the benefit of the nation. Remember the latest hoo-hah in the US about not using the word "MERRY CHRISTMAS" because it is politically incorrect? It just tells me how far politicians are willing to go, so that people will continue to vote for them. It is totally stupid and irritating. Politicians are AFRAID of the people. Instead of wanting the best for the society as a whole, they are making regulations that favours the people so that they get support. Greedy, selfish, ignorant.

- Though I’ve cursed politicians to the max, my ambition is actually to BE a politician. Sometimes I wonder why I would want to do that. Like Frodo in LOTR, I have a burden that is not easy to bear. A journey that will be difficult and full of obstacles. For Frodo, bearing the ring meant he couldn’t go home to the shire and enjoy a peaceful life, it meant a journey full of obstacles and dangers. But he still chose to bear it because he saw what would happen to the Middle Earth if he fails to destroy the ring. Sometimes I am afraid. I’m afraid that if I’m up there in the government office, I might end up like the rest of them whom I’m unsatisfied with right now. I’m afraid I might agree to send astronauts to space to make teh tarik and shut off the guilty feeling of wasting the public’s money which can be used for a better cause. I’m afraid that I will end up taking bribes and become a hypocrite. But I still choose this road. Because what if I do not try to make a difference, no one else might? If Frodo did not want to bear the ring, Middle Earth would have been destroyed. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to be the saviour of the world. But the country needs someone to rise up and be different. If I can bring my country one step closer to what it can be, I’ll do it despite the difficulties I might face - if it means going against the tide to stand for what is right, if I’ll be cursed by other politicians, if I’ll be gotten rid of immediately by them. I want to eradicate poverty; I want to fight for justice; I want my country to be a better place for everyone.

Don’t look at me as if I’m an alien now. You might think I’m naive. But doesn’t everyone wish the world is a better place? Doesn’t everyone want peace and goodwill? Doesn’t everyone, in one tiny place in his/her heart, long for a perfect world? Longing for it won’t make it happen. Somebody needs to make it happen. I know I want to. And today, I’m challenging you to make it happen too.   

     I don’t know what title to put up there, so…’None’! Heh. It’s also because it’s already 12.32am and I’m sleepy….

    I didn’t know my blog can do so many things, thanks Joanne for reminding me of how God can work in miraculous ways.

     Just came back from KL a week ago, now it’s down to 2 weeks before going back to UK. I actually look forward to it, I’m really bored, not of my family or the Msian food, just plain bored cause I’m not using my time better. But I can say that a lot has happened to me in every aspect, spiritually physically emotionally etc.

     Firstly, physically. I discovered God has increased my talents again. In singing especially, also in worship leading and dancing. Thing is, it’s really not as fun as it sounds. Having a history of pride issues, it is a form of temptation for me to use my voice to sound good in front of others, when I’m supposed to sing and dance for Jesus. My prayer for this ‘issue’ is that God will give me a humble heart all the days of my life. To know that I still need Him and I am nothing if not for what He has done for me. As for my physical body, I actually lost weight in Msia. BUT, it’s time to start growing fat again in UK! Yeah! For those who know me well enough, I was an aneroxic-looking girl before I left for UK. That explains the excitement to grow fat. Hehe.    

     Being in KL, which means being surrounded by people of faith, really encouraged me. After a long 9 months of hard times standing alone, I’m finally in a company of people that believes in the same things I believe in. In revival, in changed lives, in living for Him. I had an amazing time of fellowship with them. Just a time of sharing our dreams and vision, of what we want to see God do through our lives. It’s just amazing. God has shown me so much this time. But I’m also reminded that it’s not going to be me working hard to make it happen, but to wait for God to go before me. I am supposed to see it happen. I think this is a pretty amazing thing. God puts a dream in you, then He asks you to stand and see it happen. But of course He’s going to be using you in a certain way. But imagine the rest in Him! We don’t have to work so hard, trying and failing. But God just says, "Stand and see My glory." Wow! THis is the secret. =)

     There’s so much more that I’ve caught from my friends and leaders that I can’t put down. God is an amazing God. The only God. I worship and adore You Jesus.

     Gosh, time flies. I can’t believe I haven’t updated my blog for ages.

     So here I am, back in Malaysia after 9 months in Nottingham. Malaysia’s good, Malaysia’s nice haha. I lurve Malaysia… Food is good! Something that I miss most. My queen sized bed is good too.=) My family and friends– very very good. I have so much here. All blessings from above.

     God has opened so many doors for me here to serve. It has been amazing. I was praying to God before heading home from UK,that He will allow me to do smth in Malaysia. So that I won’t backslide. Now now, don’t be shocked. If you’re not attached to a church for 3 months, not doing anything in church, you’re BOUND to be backslidden. Hehheh. I’m sure I’ve raised a sensitive issue. But this is what I believe in.

     About what I have been doing since I got back on 19th June, I’ve been serving, serving, and serving (apart from all the eating,Astro-watching and sleeping). I visited AIMST Christian Fellowship in my hometown. To those who don’t know what AIMST is, it’s a College/University in my hometown. Somehow I believe God is gonna use them to unite the churches in SP (Sungai Petani,Kedah) They are a Christian body without division or denomination. And interestingly its members attend all different churches. Hence any event organised will be supported by a variety of churches. Who knows, God has a greater role for them to play in my homeland.

     In a different subject, I recently got myself tangled in a sticky situation. To start with,my weakness is that I hate to have enemies. I try my best to be at peace with everyone. And read me, it IS a weakness. It causes me to be afraid to tell what I think is right. Cos I’m afraid of offending people. People who’re not able to accept my views, I won’t express my views to them or even stand to tell them what I believe in. God, help me! I need to be bolder. To be courageous to stand up for truth. To dare to express my views! I cannot live to please others! This is so annoying. So, just to update you, I’m really working on it this holiday. Apart from that, I’m also working hard to change into a patient person. I recently exploded on my friends. It’s NOT FUN. Haih. Innocent people given cold treatment by me. NOT FUN. Thankfully I apologized to them like 30 minutes after. Still, friendship and trust is on the line. I can’t fail my friends. I HAVE TO BE PATIENT….

     Yup yup, that’s all about waht’s happening to me now. All that I’m learning and trying to change. Remember, everyone has weaknesses. We need to be humble enough to admit and be willing to change. Then we’ll become more and more like Jesus. Til then, bubbye!

I suddenly realized that I havent updated my blog since ages ago…So today, having the mood to blog, here I am.

It’s my third week in Nottingham, and for those who dont know, I’m doing my medical degree, so basically I’ll be here for 5 years. Since I was here, there were many ups and downs. Ups - if I’ve had a good time praying and spending time with God, downs - missing my church back in Malaysia, and CampusCity terribly. I got to meet lots of people these few weeks. It’s very interesting to know that the people here are so diverse in culture. Oh, did I mention that Nottingham has one of the highest crime rates in the UK. We were warned a thousand times not to go out alone at night, etc. I was kinda freaked out when I heard all this, but took comfort from the fact that God is always with me, just as He had protected me when I was in Subang.

I took up latin and ballroom dancing!! It’s been something that I wanted to do since a long time ago. I’m so glad I have this opportunity. I’m even thinking of going further, like joining competitions and stuff. I also wanted to join other societies like gospel choir and street jazz. But I know I wouldn’t have the time to do so many things, especially in my course. So I had to put a stop to joining them. 

Lets talk about church! Well…the British culture of church is really really different from back home. That’s why I miss Acts church!! So to say, not as lively, warm, happening, and cool as Acts, hehe. But, above all these, I know that God has a reason for me to be here. So I’d better not complain and be thankful to be in line with where God wants me to be. I am sure that God has a special purpose of bringing me here. Because I see His faithful hand leading me to Notts all the way.

To be His salt and light in Notts is not an easy thing. I struggled a whole lot in my first 2 weeks. Just to remain strong, and not backslide was a challenge. But I am so so thankful for GOd’s faithful people — CC and Acts leaders, who gave me constant support and prayer. I was so encouraged by the emails and msn chat sessions with them. I knew I wouldn’t be here, still standing strong, without their support.

My spiritual life, can be described as going downhill in my first two weeks. But thankfully today, I can say that it’s going back up again. I desire more than ever, to just love God and know Him more. I desire to be in the centre of His will, to be doing what He wants me to do, to bring a smile to His face. I want to shine His light in this spiritually dark place, I want to ….. do so many things for Him.

Oh, I just came back from York!!! It’s such a cool place. I think I’ll blog about this awesome trip next time.    

So, that’s what I have to say for now. God bless and may you experience His glory day after day!!

Let me first list what I did last week, I mean from last thurs to tues. First I went for the most boring psychology camp,which I think didn’t do much to change the way we think, haha. That was thurs and fri.

As soon as I reached Subang Jaya on Friday, it was time to go to Kuantan - for GIG Kuantan organised by AYA. We left KL at 7pm and reached at 12 something due to the jam. Then we went for supper. I slept for only 2 hours that night! Gave me a glimpse of what a doctor’s life would be like, sigh…It wasn’t fun.

The next day was a full day for us. But we managed to pull through. One more thing, I was asked to teach in a workshop in the afternoon (was told to do that just the night before!!) To tell you the truth, I wasn’t prepared at all!! But thank God it turned out fine, great actually, not because of me - it was God. The more important thing is that the young people understood and brought back something useful for their walk with God home. The concert at night was awesome. And once again, God did not fail to move. I could see the lives of the young people change. The fire of God consumed their hearts and they were so passionate for God!

Ok, that was Saturday night. We started back to KL after supper. All of us were already asleep within 5 minutes. Imagine how tired we were. Reached back in SJ at 5am. Went to camp at my kind friend Zuanne’s place. Woke up at 7smth, time to go to church. After church, I headed to Genting with the rest of the church leaders for Leaders’ Retreat. Phew!

The 3 days in Genting was also awesome, though I haven’t recovered from the tiredness from Kuantan. God spoke to me about various things. One of the most important is the things that I’ll do in Nottingham for Him. I was so amazed, and still is, with the support I got from Ps Kenneth. I really thank God because I know I will not be alone in whatever God has called me to do. I have the whole church to support me! I believe Notts will never be the same again, because my amazing God is not done with that place! I will go there as a revival carrier, by His mercy and grace.

Kays, I think this post is getting very long. Shall stop now. God bless!   

I thought my 3-month break would give me more time to relax and shop for stuff to bring overseas. But looks like I’m wrong. The whole almost-2 weeks I’m in KL is filled with church activities. Busy busy busy.

I wana go shopping………

Oh, I’m going to Kuantan next Friday! GIG Kuantan…Guess that place will never be the same again, cos I know God will move so mightily. So excited about it, this is probably the last GIG for me, apart from the National GIG.

I sold my books in Taylor’s yesterday! Well, got to get rid of ALL my notes and passyears. Hmm, looks like the juniors DO know the value of our notes! The bad thing about yesterday is one lecturer came around checking if we’re selling any pirated books. She started confiscating them!! Luckily mine was still in the box and they’re still safe with me. I can buy a good pair of sport shoes for overseas with the money!! Yeah!